Rethinking Goals: Looking to your future self
When You Hear the Word “Goal”… What comes up for you?
Is there a lot of drama around it? Do you immediately feel inspired, defensive, or determined?
Our society uses a lot of phrases surrounding goals like:
Career goals
Goal digger
Unrealistic goals
Goal weight
Goal time
…The list goes on.
Sit With It for a Moment
Usually, when answering the first question, we logically respond with the Merriam-Webster definition. (Thank you, Mind.)
But let’s sit with this a little longer. Lean into it and breathe into it for a moment.
What else comes up?
Think of the last time you “set” a goal.
What sensations do you notice in your body?
Are you tense, or relaxed?
Do any emotions arise? Pride, shame, or something else?
What beliefs do you have about yourself when you think about your most recent goal?
Did you achieve it? Why or why not?
What We Make Goals Mean About Ourselves
Sometimes it’s hard not to make goals mean certain things about ourselves.
🔹 If we fail to stick to a new fitness routine, we might use it as evidence against ourselves that we are lazy.
🔹 If we don’t read all of the books we set out to read, we might believe we have poor time management.
Then, the next year, we use what we have or have not accomplished to decide our future.
🚨 We look to the past to decide the future.
While the past can certainly be a great teacher, if we are trying to grow and change, our past selves might not be the (wo)man for the job.
What If Instead…
What if instead, we made decisions based on our future selves?
(I’m going to give that a minute to sink in.)
Okay, now read it again.
Who Do You Want to Be?
In this exercise, you are not allowed to use your past mistakes or failures against yourself.
Truly, who do you want to be?
What do you look like?
How do you act?
What do you think like?
And perhaps the cherry on top—how would that person approach this goal?
The Power of Future Perspective
In using this approach, we are not shutting out or shaming our past or present selves.
We are simply giving authority to a third perspective—our future selves.
This also helps us see where we want to go.
The Skier Analogy
Think of a skier or snowboarder traveling down a difficult and steep mountain.
Up ahead, the slope cuts through a wooded area.
🔹 If the skier looks at all of the trees, they will inevitably most likely end up hitting one.
🔹 If they focus solely on the slope and where the trail is heading, they have a much greater chance of making it through the wooded area without physical injury.
The lesson?
🌟 The best way to move forward is to focus on where you want to go.
Getting to Know Your Future Self
Let’s carve out some time to spend with our future selves.
Let’s get to know them, so that we can grow to become them.
What is he/she wearing?
Hair? Makeup?
What is she doing?
What’s her morning routine?
Who is she spending time with?
What does she eat?
Does she exercise?
Get real specific!
🚀 Remember, this is your future self.
👉 You can make this person look and be whoever you want.
👉 You get to decide.
👉 You are in control.
Example: My Future Self
For example, my future self:
✅ Works out six days a week
✅ Works three days a week and spends time with family the other two workdays
✅ Spends quality time with friends regularly—like weekly
✅ Dresses like a boss and has her hair and makeup done
✅ Is very put together
Most of all…
💖 My future self looks at my current self with compassion and understanding.
She recognizes that it is this current self that chose to take the steps to become that future self.
So, she looks back with gratitude and love, regardless of what my current shortcomings might be.